Happy and full of Hope!!

I met a guy a few weeks ago and didn't really talk to him but I had this feeling about him and it was 2 weeks until I saw him again and I got butterflies.  He didn't really notice me, so I kinda gave up on it.  A couple hours after seeing him we starting chatting online and I got butterflies again.  It seemed silly cause we didn't really know each other at all.  I've seen him a few times lately and got to know him.  Now, here comes the good part I guess.  I don't think he's interested in me which is fine.  He wrote the most beautiful thing to a woman and it made me smile.  But it was so great to crush a guy again.  It's been so long and I was very worried for a long time that I wouldn't ever let myself crush anyone again or open up to a man again.  So, it's not a big deal and I'm not gonna cry over him.  But it was fun and liberating to feel things again.  To feel freed from all the chains of hating myself.  I love myself.  I smile everyday and enjoy my life right now.  It's wonderful.  I love my life and where it is going.  The stresses in my life are slowing dissolving and escaping.  I have more hope for my life and myself right now than I think I ever have.  I'm the happiest woman right now and not for any one particular reason.  I feel like things are coming together for me.  I love the friends I have and have made recently.  I love having Brady home and love having church in my world again.  I love the hugs and the encouragement I get everyday.  I love being in control of my world and not feeling like I have to live in someone else's life.  I've made leaps and bounds not only with my life but with myself as well.  I've never loved myself the way I love myself right now.  I wouldn't change me.  I have things I want improve on with myself but I like me.