Insecurties

I was talking to a friend today.  We were talking about boys and the ones we like and relationships.  We were also talking about being burned.  It seems like when those men who we love turn around and burn us real good we end up questioning ourselves so much.  We find ourselves insecure with things in our lives.  Now, don't get me wrong; I really like myself.  But I find myself trying to answer questions I won't ever get answers to and evaluating all my flaws and forgetting the good things about me sometimes.  But most of all I worry that someday I find someone to love again and never trust them.  I'll always think that someone better will come around the corner and they'll leave me.  I can't ever be the best thing for anyone; they could always do better.  My friend was in a similar situation and she feels like she has to be on and fun all the time or the guy will split.  I totally understand this.  I understand that there are great things about us all but I think that all these women around me are so much greater.  So, then it's just time before the men will figure out that there is a better woman out there.  It's an unfair judgement to me and the men, and the other women around me; but I can't stop.  Now, I've been thinking about this and why are we letting these shitty men control our lives long after they are gone?  Why do they still have such a hold on us when our hearts have let us go?  It's so stupid.  We have to go back to believing that there are great men still out there.  That the don't all cheat, leave, and break our hearts.  That they won't all leave us burned and hurt in the end.  We have to believe that some of them are still great.  That some of them can really love us.  We have to let the anger go, the insecurities go, the uncertainty of men's fidelity and trustworthiness.  We have to go back to believing we are worth something to them.  I'm going to make it a goal to start believing in the best things about me again.  I'm going to stop thinking that all men cheat and are not worth my time, my heart and my trust.  I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt because if I don't someday I'll run the one I love out of my life because my heart is afraid.  I can be happy, I can trust, and I can let someone in.