Feeling a little better.

Today is the first day that I actually feel better.  I feel "a little bit stronger".  The morning was still difficult but the rest of this day has been a little better.  I haven't cried and I haven't thought much of him today.  It has been good.  Last night was hard though.  I was cleaning my room and seemed to find more and more of his stuff of Jeremy's.  Every time I found something I started crying.  I never go on Jeremy's side of the bed... or I guess the other side of the bed and he had a left a can of soda that he was drinking the last night that he was here.  It took everything in my being to throw it away and stop bawling.  And I found his doo rag and it made me start bawling all over again.  It was absolutely one of his trade marks.  It's was tough but I did it.  I cleaned the room out of all of his stuff in such a rage I didn't do such a good job and finding his things was difficult.  But today has been a good day.  It has been a pleasant day.  The first day in 2 weeks that I feel good.  I'm trying to keep this momentum and keep my spirits high.  I miss him, and I love him but I am better off without him.  Maybe I'm starting to understand and realize that.