Very Hard Day

I took Jeremy's stuff back today.  His car, clothes, and bunch of other things.  I took it to Ogden to his parent's house.  I've never had to do something so hard.  Before we took the car back I had to go to the storage unit.  Which is right down the road from where we had our house.  It was so hard to drive by the Smith's sign in Roy and take the 334 exit.  Driving down Hill Field Road.  I tried so hard to contain myself but I bawled uncontrollably.  All the memories came flooding back.  All the times I drove down there for the night, the whole time we were at the house.  We were so happy and so good together.  The Smith's sign that changed my mind in the beginning and called and told him I was gonna try this thing.  It was harder than I had ever expected.  Harder than I wanted it to be.  It's over.  He doesn't love me.  He's gone and with someone else and has forgotten all about me.  Forgotten about our life together, our sacrifices and our love.  It's all over and it's done.  I'm so heartbroken, so sad.  I miss our 'slug-bugs', our inside jokes, his arms around me and feeling safe, his smell, and smile, and his voice.  I'm trying so hard to be strong but today I'm not strong.  Today is a bad day.  Today was too much for me too soon.  I'm so scared I'll never move on.  I'm scared I will have more bad days than good ones.  Yesterday was a good one, and today is a very bad one.